When the World Falls Apart
by TheLastRider
Summary: When Rey wakes up in the Throne Room after the collision, she decides she cannot leave without Ben. The split second decision, based entirely on her vision and the knowledge that there is still conflict in him, changes both of their futures. TLJ alternative ending.
1. Chapter 1 Awakening

I am not a fan of TLJ solely because of the gaping plot holes. Here's one of my ideas of how it should have ended- enjoy!

Reviews would be appreciated! I'll update soon!

 **Chapter 1: Awakening**

A distant roar and a bright light-

An explosion of blue-

Rey brought a hand to her head, groaning as she tried to blink away her blurry vision. Her ringing ears were not helping, but she rolled over so she could look at something other than the burning ceiling.

The ship was dying- she could feel it in how the entire room shuddered, how groans echoed through the vaulted ceiling, adding to the crackle of the small fires that littered the throne room. Out the windows she could see debris and soldiers floating past, getting sucked into the nothingness of space.

The Resistance's ship was nowhere to be seen.

She could not think about that yet.

Snoke's ship was doomed- she could feel the Force pulling her out the door, urging her to leave, to rejoin the Resistance-

 _There is still conflict in him._

Struggling to push herself up to her hands and knees, Rey surveyed the room, unable to move as quickly as she wanted because of nausea rising in her stomach. He had to be close by- there was half of the lightsaber they both wanted so badly, that he had claimed as his own all along- if she found him she would find the other half-

Ben was sprawled to the left of the throne, and Rey stumbled to her feet and dragged herself to his side.

Still breathing. Unconscious, but alive.

 _There is still conflict in him._

She heard the voice as clearly as she could see him laying in front of her.

 _I know what I need to do._

 _You are nothing- but not to me._

If she left him, he would surely fall further to the Dark Side.

She grabbed his lightsaber from him, just in case she met trouble along the way. It was inevitable, really, and the more she thought of the troops that were surely outside the door the more she could feel blood pounding through her veins. The cut on her upper arm was still dripping; she decided tending to it could wait for another day.

When was he Ben, and when was he Kylo?

She tucked both halves of the blue lightsaber into her tunic; he would have to teach her how to fix it.

She would have to learn how to strengthen Ben and suffocate Kylo.

Surely Snoke's death would help? Surely, if he was away from the First Order, and around people who could be his family- she would make them his family- he would see that he belonged with the Resistance? Surely, if he and Luke could make amends- she would mediate between them, although she did lean with Ben on their fight- they could rebuild the Jedi together? They could create a new order, her and Ben working side by side, so Luke could see healing and hope before his eyes…

Ben groaned, and Rey immediately crouched next to him; at least his scar had not opened up again in the blast. She grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Ben?" She whispered. "Ben, I saw you turn. Come with me… please."

The push to leave swelled in her mind, and Rey leaned over so she could press her forehead against his, as if doing so could move the hope and the visions of a happy future from her skull to his. "Ben, we can end this together. We can call off the First Order. We can stop the Resistance. We can end the war. We can be the ones to rebuild this world. Ben, I can see it- I can see you and I working side by side, healing the hurt of the past. Let it go, Ben- you always tell me to let it go. Help me. Help me let go. Help me create a new future, please."

His shallow breathing mingled with hers, the warmth spreading across their faces. She pulled his hand to her face and pressed it against her cheek.

"Ben, I don't want to be alone. You don't have to be alone. Come with me. Let go of this- of Snoke, of the First Order, of this place- and come with me."

He stirred, but she had no idea if he heard anything she said, so she clung to his hand tighter.

"Ben. Come with me."

A clatter from the direction of the door- elevator?- distracted her, and in a moment Rey realized they were about to have company.

"Don't move. I'm not leaving you." She whispered to Ben, before clambering over him and laying down behind one of the dead Praetorian Guardsmen.

A moment later, General Hux's pasty white face appeared in the elevator door as he pried it open and stepped into the throne room, any color draining from his complexion as his hands started shaking. His first few steps were slow, like he thought he was in a dream and had to move slowly, but the further he came into the room the faster he moved, his steps growing louder as he stomped towards the destruction.

Hux surveyed the damage, and Rey realized his arrival could only help her situation.

He wandered through the carnage, but Rey could not watch him; she kept her face close to the ground, almost tucked into the Red Guard's side, to try to hide how her breath was fogging up the floor. She could feel the red lightsaber digging into her side as she laid on top of it; while she doubted Hux would notice she had it at all, part of her wished she would have hidden it more.

She could feel Hux's every step reverberating through the floor, and as he wandered closer to her, she called on the Force to calm her pounding heart.

Play dead play dead play dead….

Hux wandered through the carnage closer to the throne, and Rey realized she had been a fool to hide so close to it. She had no clear wounds, but surely he would think she had died from something else? From a Force choke, perhaps, or simply getting dropped and dragged along by Snoke.

"Supreme Leader..." Rey barely caught the words as Hux whispered them in shock. "What happened?"

She heard a squeak as he turned, his shoes protesting against the slick floor. She could just imagine his mind whirring, trying to piece together what had happened, trying to understand how this catastrophe had come about. She knew he would first put the blame on her- did he even realize Ben was there yet?

What could he be thinking? That she had killed Snoke, and that the Red Guard had killed her? Or that Kylo killed her and then left? But that didn't explain the Red Guard.

She felt his eyes land on her, slick and heavy like a vat of boiling grease. She suppressed the urge to shudder.

A dark chuckle echoed through the room as Hux came closer to her. Stepping over the Red Guard that she had hidden next to, Hux loomed over her, using his foot to nudge her.

"At least some good has come of this mess." He murmured, nudging her again. "Pathetic girl, thinking she could survive an attack against the First Order. It is a shame that she was pretty. Supreme Leader, if you don't mind, I think I must shoot her a few times for good measure. Avenge your death, and all that business."

 _Wait._ She felt the guidance resonate through her bones. _There is no need to panic. He is unarmed._

She thought to when he had entered the room; it was true, now that she considered it. He had not carried a weapon in with him, which meant that he would have to find something to hurt her with first. Hux stepped back toward the throne, and Rey had to bite her tongue as he stepped on her fingers as he moved over her.

"Oh, and Kylo is here too, dead as he always should have been. He was not loyal like I am, Supreme Leader. I will not let you down… Supreme Leader Armitage Hux of the First Order. It does have a ring to it."

Ben had to be unconscious. He would never tolerate this talk.

Rey heard the whir of one of the Praetorian Guard's Bilari electro-chain whips and took a steadying breath. A clatter surprised her; he must have dropped the whip and decided on using something else. A moment later, he took a heavy step, then another, and another- Rey felt her stomach twist as Hux's steps came closer to her-

Ten feet-

Seven feet-

Was that the click of a gun?-

Four feet-

 _NOW-_

In the same moment that she heard a shot from a blaster, Rey rolled over and away from the Praetorian Guard, reaching for the red lightsaber and igniting it as she outstretched the weapon to block the shot-

Hux's eyes were wide, but he was not looking at her. His attention was fixed on the red blast that was halfway between him as her, trembling in mid-air.


	2. Chapter 2 Escape

Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favorites! Keep them coming!

 **Chapter 2: Escape**

Rey's brown eyes met Hux's green ones, and in that instant he realized she was not the one to stop the blast. The blaster in his hand started shaking just like the red bolt poised between them, and Rey looked behind him as a figure rose from the throne room floor.

Was this Kylo, or Ben?

Keeping the lightsaber ignited, Rey slowly picked herself up, unable to calm the jitters that were racing through her system. Was this Ben from the elevator, or Kylo from a few minutes before? Who had pleaded with her to join him?

Hux turned, blaster still in hand, and faced Kylo Ren as he stood to his full height, his eyes burning with the same malice he had directed to Snoke when Rey was on her knees in front of him. This was Kylo, not Ben; his eyes were hard and merciless, and his every step made the room quake. Fury radiated off of his broad shoulders, and Hux instinctively stepped back as Kylo came closer.

Kylo's hands were empty but fisted, and Rey had a moment where she feared he would rip the lightsaber from her hands and use it to destroy Hux.

Instead, he reached out, and Rey watched open-mouthed as Hux dropped the blaster and starting clawing at his throat, gasping for air, his toes desperately trying to brush the floor-

"Welcome to your throne room, Supreme Leader Hux." Kylo snarled. "There isn't a better welcome you could have had."

"Ben, don't- don't kill him." Rey said, now on her feet, lightsaber still in hand. "He's more useful alive than dead."

Rey stepped over the dead guard so that she was standing to Hux's right, not in between him and Kylo, but in front of him; she used the force to snatch the blaster from the floor and kept it aimed on the general as he writhed, his face turning from red to blue.

"Ben, please." Rey pressed, turning off the lightsaber and tucking it into her tunic. "Ben, let me."

He wasn't making eye contact with her, and she could almost hear his teeth grinding as he focused his energy on Hux and the blast that still hung in midair behind them.

Rey glanced out the window, watching the last remaining Resistance escape pods as they made their way to the planet below.

She could not make him do anything; it had to be his decision.

Always.

Rey came to Ben's side, keeping the blaster pointed in Hux's direction, and laid one hand on his shoulder.

His eyes flickered to hers and back to Hux, whose kicks were growing fewer and farther between.

"Ben. Stop, please."

She squeezed his shoulder.

Hux crashed to the ground as the blaster shot simultaneously imbedded itself into the floor, and Rey allowed herself to take a deep breath.

"Thank you, Ben."

"More useful alive than dead?" His eyes were fixed on her again, and she could see the anger starting to melt away, like the exhaustion of the day was catching up to him and forcing him to pick where he directed his attention.

"Trust me, Ben."

Behind her, Hux's gasps had turned to hacks, and the man was starting to get breath in his lungs again. Ben raised one eyebrow, as if he was daring Rey to attempt her ridiculous plan where he couldn't kill the mewling waste of a human being.

"I will take care of him. Do you trust me?"

Ben nodded, and Rey squared her shoulders, turned to Hux, and kept the blaster fixed on him.

"Get up."

She could feel Ben smirking behind her as he crossed his arms across his chest.

Hux was still blue in the face; it suited him better than his normal shade of pasty white.

"I order you to get up!" Rey shot just to the right of his face, startling the general and forcing him to look up at her.

She shot again, and Hux shakily rose to his feet.

"Walk." She ordered, gesturing to the windows with the blaster.

His thin mouth curved into a sneer. "You think you can-"

"You will walk when she tells you to walk." Ben rumbled behind her, and Hux suddenly stiffened; Ben was surely applying pressure somewhere on the general.

Snoke's slumped upper half suddenly fell to the floor; for a moment, all three people froze, as if afraid the Supreme Leader would rise up again.

He didn't move.

Instead, Rey came behind Hux, pressing the blaster into his back, guiding him to the hologram projector. As soon as they stood in front of it, the machine whirred to life, and in a moment Hux was starting at a reflection of himself.

It did not improve his mood.

Rey poured all the authority her slim body had into her voice. "You will announce the First Order's surrender to the Resistance, and Snoke's death, to your fleet, the Resistance, and the First Order's allies."

"I will do no such thing-!"

Rey ignited the lightsaber so it hummed just behind his head, burning a few tendrils of hair. The pasty general stiffened as he caught a whiff of the acrid smell.

"You will announce your resignation from your post as well."

Hux stood in front of the projector, his lips white from how tightly they were pressed together.

"The more you cooperate, the more the Resistance will have reason to give you mercy."

Hux's hands were shaking, but he tentatively reached forward, straightened his shoulders, and stared into the projector.

Rey moved to the side, so that she would not be in the hologram, and so that the blaster and the lightsaber would be in his peripheral vision as he spoke to the universe.

A vein that ran down his forehead was bulging out of his pale skin.

"This is General Hux of the First Order."

She was glad to hear a waver in his voice; she was not expecting his eyes to be so unfocused, like he was staring at something far beyond them.

"Our beloved Supreme Leader is dead; the _Supremacy_ is also lost. I hereby announce a complete surrender to the Resistance, and my resignation as General. All forces of the First Order must return to the nearest base and await further instructions. The terms of the treaty will be broadcasted shortly. Thank you."

Rey glanced from him to Ben, his arms still folded, his face blank.

The hologram ended, and Hux collapsed.

"Were you mind controlling him?" Rey stared at the crumpled leader at her feet.

"No."

Rey squinted her eyes at Ben, turning off the lightsaber and tucking it into her tunic.

"You were doing something."

Ben shrugged. "I may have reminded him how we could always kill him here and now."

Rey snorted. "And made him pass out, just like you made me in the woods."

"A minor detail." His eyes were still fixed on her, and she could tell by that she was talking to Ben, not Kylo. "I can teach you how."

"But for the moment, we need to get off of this ship." Rey kneeled down next to Hux and ripped off two parts of his tunic, using one to gag him and the other to bind his hands together. "Is there a tie fighter or a hanger close by that would have something we could use?"

While she was looking at Hux, Ben reached out, and the lightsaber flew from Rey's side to his hand; Rey felt the tug but decided to continue her work.

She didn't want him to have that lightsaber. She didn't want it in his hands; why? Frowning, she finished the knot behind Hux's head. Was it the color? She wanted to protect him from any association with the Dark Side? Was it what he had done with that lightsaber?

She would have to find an excuse to use it again.

"Snoke's ship is the closest."

The lightsaber was humming, but Rey knew he would not use it against her; Ben was with her, not Kylo.

"Do you know how to pilot it?"

She glanced up, finishing her work with Hux, and Ben's look told her the answer. He was holding one of the Red Guard's tunics, and the makeshift bag was holding something lopsided but round-ish. A helmet, perhaps? Maybe he took souvenirs; she decided not to focus her energy on answering the question.

Ben tucked his lightsaber back into his tunic, red bag in hand, as Rey finished her last knot

"Lead the way, then."

That moment, the power through the entire throne room flickered, and Rey instinctively moved closer to Ben. He knew the _Supremacy_ better than anyone else, she imagined, and she used the force to pick up Hux and carry him along behind her.

He reached out and offered her his other hand; Rey took it without thinking, and the two dashed out of the burning room, into the elevator, and through the collapsing ship. The hallways were surprisingly empty, filled only with the blaring alarm and flashing red lights urging the troops to evacuate.

If they came to a main hanger, would they have to fight for a ship? Would stormtroopers be panicking for a way off of the doomed _Supremacy_? Would Ben be able to simply command one for them?

Instead, Ben pulled her through a narrow doorway, tucked down a nondescript hallway, and into a private hanger holding only one ship. The hatch was already open and waiting, and as they boarded the sleek black ship, the lights in the _Supremacy_ completely cut out, replaced only by the minimal red emergency lights.

Rey dumped Hux in a storage container near the door and closed it while Ben rushed to the controls, flipping on lights and warming up the engine as Rey joined him.

 _Plug in your coordinates first._

Rey instantly grabbed the locator device and plugged in the coordinates for Crait; she would update the exact location once they were able to signal to Chewie or the Resistance.

They shot out of the _Supremacy_ just as the emergency lights went black, and Rey couldn't help but whoop with pleasure as they burst into open space, nothing but stars and a white planet ahead of them.

She turned, grinning from ear to ear, to smile at Ben.

His blank face looked straight ahead.


	3. Chapter 3 Choices

Just one or two more chapters left; thank you for the favorites, follows, and reviews! If you have any Reylo theories for Ep. IX, hit me up.

 **Chapter 3: Choices**

The cockpit was silent as the ship charged towards Crait.

Rey set her controls on autopilot- they would not face any attacks anymore, she could sense it- and leaned back in her seat to catch her breath.

The tension between her and Ben was palpable; she knew he would never use it against her, but she was hyperaware of the lightsaber hanging from his hip and the broken one in her tunic pocket.

Why did she feel the need to take the red lightsaber from him? To keep him and it apart? If their locator was correct, at their current speed it would only take them twenty minutes to reach Crait; there had to be some way she could have him give it to her.

"Are the communication signals open?" She asked, trying to fill in the silence.

Ben leaned forward and flipped a few switches; Rey immediately leaned forward and started twisting the dials, reaching into her pocket and fishing out the small tracking device she had paired with Chewie on the _Falcon_.

Crackling static with the occasional click or whir interrupted the emptiness between her and Ben; the next moment, an elated Wookie roar blasted their ears as Rey scrambled to turn down the volume.

Ben was still staring straight ahead.

"Chewie!" Rey crowed, laughing as a few Porgs made their voices heard in the background. "Chewie, are you alright? What happened to the _Supremacy_?"

Another roar, and Rey saw Ben's attention flicker to her and then back out into space.

"Well General Hordo was brilliant. Can you send me the correct coordinates on Crait?"

Ben turned away from her.

"Just received them. Thank you Chewie. We'll see you on Crait in just a few… Yes, I'm okay, I promise. I'll tell you everything there. See you in a few."

The transmission cut out, and Rey realized Ben's hands were fisted.

 _Ben._

She pushed the thought to him, but he didn't move.

"Ben," Rey whispered, leaning over and placing one of her hands over his left fist.

Nothing.

"Don't be scared." She murmured, echoing his own words. "I feel it too."

She gently pried apart his hand, wiggling the glove off of his hand and weaving her fingers together with his.

"You said we could rebuild the world."

Rey looked at the back of his head, mute, and her hand instinctively squeezed his to make sure he was real, and that the words had truly come out of his mouth.

 _He had been awake the whole time._

He turned and looked at his hand wrapped in hers; Rey started rubbing her thumb across the back of his palm.

"I cannot come to Crait. We both know that."

Rey swallowed as he met her gaze.

"There are good people on Crait. People who want to help us, who will help us, who want peace and homes and security. Ben, there's this ridiculous little droid, BB-8, and she is wonderful and spunky and curious and even if people are complicated droids aren't as much, and I know BB-8 will believe me when I tell her that there is good in you." Rey smirked. "She even stole a freighter one."

Recognition flashed across Ben's face.

"And Ben, there are good things in your past that you do not have to let go of."

"I already have."

"Then focus on building new good things. Chewie is out there because he believed me when I said that there was good in you. He was my back up plan for getting off of the _Supremacy_ , and even if no one else believes me no one is going to try to fight me and Chewie together. Ben, you have a mother who wants her son again; that is something I will never have."

"The bridge was blown in a skirmish. She might not have made it." He flatlined.

Rey leveled her gaze at him. "We would have felt it, Ben. You know that. You know she's alive, by some miracle."

There it was- Rey refused to break their eye contact, and she saw the pull in his eyes. Was it possible that part of him longed for his mother like she longed for hers? Did he miss Han, and by extension, Leia?

He did not reply.

"Let go of your past as Kylo and give the people I know a chance. I promise good can come of this."

"Then why have I not seen this good?"

The words stuck in Rey's mouth, and the tracker on the command center blinked rapidly, alerting them that they only had a few minutes until they entered Crait's atmosphere.

"You have to trust me, Ben."

"You're not giving me any choices."

Rey shook her head and started blinking quickly. "You have a choice, Ben. We'll open the hatch, I'll walk out with Hux, and you can leave. No one knows you're here. No one will expect it or try to stop you."

"You won't stop me?"

He had been honest with her; she needed to be honest with him.

"I want to, but I won't. I don't want _you_ to be alone; I don't want to be alone, Ben. I want a teacher; I want to show you the goodness that is in this world. I want…" Her voice cracked, and lost for words, she remembered the broken lightsaber in her pocket. Keeping her hand in his, she pulled both halves out and held them out to him. "I want us to fix this. I don't know how, Ben."

Somehow, they were facing each other, leaning forward in their chairs. He reached his gloved hand out to hers, his fingertips brushing against hers as they held the broken lightsaber between them.

"Come with me, Rey."

His attention never wavered from her face, and he took her hand from his and put it against his cheek.

"We don't belong in the Resistance. We are separate from them; they do not understand what it means for us to be Force-sensitive. They do not understand our capabilities; they do not understand our struggle."

His cheek was warm, and Rey could see something moving in his eyes, something brighter, excited even. Something… hopeful?

"They understand family." Rey whispered. "They're the closest I've ever had to family. Ben, I don't even know who of my friends is still alive. Where else would we go, Ben? They represent the only place we could possibly belong."

They were entering Crait's atmosphere; as her ears popped, Rey realized her time with him was running dangerously low. She stroked her thumb along his cheek; he was the one who had put her hand there; she might as well enjoy the cheek she hasn't scarred.

"You said we could work side by side. You said we could rebuild the world. Rey, we have no hope of rebuilding with the Resistance. They will not let you explore your strengths; they will grow to fear you, to resent you, and they will do everything in their power to undermine you. They become to you what Luke was to me, and you will grow to hate them."

His voice was low, but she could feel the rumble of his words through her hand cupped against his cheek.

"Ben, let go." She pleaded. "Trust me, please. I saw hope with them; if there is anyone who wants to rebuild the world, it is the Resistance. There are so few of them left, Ben. They need us, more than we need them. We cannot rebuild with only two people. They need the hope that we can bring; they need the promise that the Jedi can return. They do not need Luke; they need _us_. They need a new generation of peace and order. They need the force; we are the only ones who can share it with them. They have the drive to improve the galaxy; you can be the bridge between them and the First Order. You are the only one in the galaxy- in the _universe_ \- who has the power to make the path to this new world smooth; your authority can either continue this horrible fight or end it."

Her voice was thickening again; she took a deep breath to try to find some inner peace.

The images of her vision flowed through her mind- pictures of the lightsaber between them, restored, a new generation of padawans running between her and Ben, Stormtroopers used for rescue missions after natural disasters, the old weapons of the Resistance and the First Order rusting in the desert, a new Jedi order rising up, adapting to reflect its new Masters, teaching students how to face their pull to the Dark Side rather than being afraid of it-

"I wish I could show you what I have seen." She whispered, her hand still on his cheek.

The ship was starting to slow- they had minutes left, if that. She glanced out at the white planet beneath them; she had discovered worlds of grass, water, islands, forests, snow, and now salt. What else was there for her to see?

They were coming to a mine built into the side of a cliff face; the time had come.

She memorized his face, the intensity in his dark eyes, and how gently he was holding her hand.

He still had his lightsaber.

"I'm sorry, Ben." She whispered, wishing she could delay their landing and sit with him for a little while longer. "I want to fight side by side with you again. But I cannot go with you today. I am needed here; you are _wanted_ here. But I will understand if you choose to leave."

"They will never accept me."

"Trust me, Ben. You will never know that if you do not give them a chance."

Rey dropped her hand from his face; the ship was landing outside of a massive door, and she could see small figures standing out against the white, snow-like landscape.

She stood from the black chair, still holding the broken lightsaber, and started to turn to walk away.

Ben stopped her, still holding the two pieces of the blue lightsaber. He pulled it closer to himself, pulling her with it.

They stood inches apart, Rey looking up at him, so close she could she different shades of pink and silver along the scar on his cheek.

"If you leave this ship, you will not be able to change your mind. You cannot undo this."

"I know." She whispered. "Which is why I want you to come with me."

Ben's gloved hand let go of the blue lightsaber, and Rey walked out of the cockpit alone.

She stood at the top of the hatch, hearing the whir of the landing gear as it prepared for their descent. The box containing Hux levitating at her side, and reached out one last time.

 _Ben._


	4. Chapter 4 Revelations

Happy New Year, may the force be with you, and leave a review or two! (Seriously. I'm not totally satisfied with this chapter and I want to keep working on it. Tell me what you think could be improved!)

 **Chapter 4: Revelations**

From the cockpit, Ben could hear Rey drag Hux's box to the hatch, the hiss of the door opening, the sound of voices clamoring for her, calling her name, cheering for her, for their scavenger, their girl-

 _Ben_.

A shudder ran down his spine.

She begged him to come with.

She wanted him to be with her.

She promised they could have a good life.

She asked him to trust her.

He could still feel her hand against his cheek; she didn't even realize that exactly what she wanted had come true.

 _Ben stood in a world where the colors were slightly off, more blue than normal, and the air smelled of ocean salt rather than the grime and metal of a starship. He could hear Rey, vaguely, but her voice sounded far away, like she was more in his mind than standing in the green clearing._

 _She was nowhere in sight._

 _Instead, the clearing was filled with youth, about nine of them, one who couldn't be older than five and others who had the lanky look of a recent growth spurt. They wore identical brown tunics, and each held a staff, some sparring while others were going through paces as a group-_

 _"_ _Master Rey!" The youngest one, blonde and bright eyed, turned to him. "Master Rey, can you show me how-"_

 _The image disappeared in a whirl of green and blue, turning to burning gold-_

 _He stood in the desert, sand blasting his face, and in an instant the sun was beating down on his black attire._

 _In the distance, the Supremacy was rotting next to an x-wing._

 _The gold horizon disappeared, swallowed by inky darkness._

 _He could smell a wood fire nearby; crickets were chirping all around him, and he and the outside world were separated only by a thin tent._

 _"_ _I just wish they had been less elusive. I understand that they were worried about corruption and thieves, but I was a scavenger. I made my entire life around finding things, but I can't find this."_

 _The hairs on the back of Ben's neck stood up._

 _He turned and saw Rey sprawled across the ground, a flashlight in hand as she swung the light onto a paper map and a book spread out on the floor in front of her. Her hair was completely undone, and long, tumbling down her shoulders and coiling on the floor, covering up parts of the map._

 _Blue kyber crystals hung around her neck; they were jagged, like they had been broken before being attached to the golden chain._

 _"_ _We are close." Was that his voice? That wasn't possible. "Master Obi-Wan would not have led us here if he did want us to find his lightsaber."_

 _This was not happening._

 _"_ _But I am glad that he has found another padawan for us." She agreed. "I am glad there is another to carry on his legacy, even if it is a pain right now."_

 _She glanced up at him, and her smile froze his blood._

 _This was a dream._

 _He was tumbling, he was getting sucked into hyperspeed, lights and sounds roaring past him-_

 _Rey was with him again, and a BB-series unit. The three of them were crowded around a table, and the scabs on Rey's upper arm were just starting to peel off, revealing pink, smooth skin beneath._

 _A book, numerous tools, and two pieces of a blue lightsaber were spread out on the table in front of them._

 _"_ _I know what the book says, but that doesn't make sense." Rey was complaining. "BB-8, scan it again? There has to be a way to reroute the emitter matrix. Ben, what if we realigned the power grid and moved it further up the hilt?"_

Ben didn't know what it meant.

Had her touch given him her visions? Had it been the force? Their proximity? Was he going insane?

What about his own visions?

He was grateful she had not seen them; she had been spared the picture of both of them kneeling before Snoke. She had not felt the grip of lightning running through her veins.

Why had their visions been so similar?

 _Apprentices, all clad in black, were surrounded by bits of broken red beams, the dummies they had been practicing on unyielding and unharmed._

 _Rey stood next to him, clad in black, bits and pieces of a sword spread out in front of them. A red kyber crystal glinted like a bloody diamond between them._

Why had she not seen the future he had?

She wanted to share a future. But Snoke had been a primary character in his visions; he and Rey were beneath a Supreme Leader, dominating the galaxy, an invincible pair with the shared burden of fear-

Why did her visions seem so warm?

He was weak in her visions, watching over mere children, looking for a lost green lightsaber, why? Where was the power? Where was the glory and the gore? Did she not enjoy the sight of him at his full capacity, throwing off the Red Guard, tricking Snoke, freezing fired shots with an outstretched hand-

She wanted a teacher.

She wanted an impossibility; she wanted him and the Resistance, him and Leia, him and Chewie, him and her friends. Why not just him? Why not power? She was too attached to these people whom she barely knew- she was-

She wanted a guide, and equal, a partner in the force-

If it was not him, she would have to go to Luke. The thought made Kylo shudder.

He would never go back to Luke. Never.

The imagery of Rey, on whatever island planet Luke had found, learning from a teacher who feared her power, who knew what she was capable of, who was armed with a loathed green lightsaber-

She made that choice, she knew the risk, she knew that they would turn against her like Luke turned against him-

She chose him over Luke, yet walked back to Luke's side?

But if he left, where would he go? Back to the crippled First Order? Without Hux it would be easy to regroup, easy to call together a second fight, easy to trick the Resistance into laying down their arms and starting a premature celebration, only to cut them down at their height of joy-

But that could kill her.

Or he could recapture her in the process.

She would hate him.

Rey was walking down the steps- had it really only been a few seconds?- and the roar starting shushing. Why? Why weren't they getting louder?

"Rey?"

Ben heard a male voice call to her, and his stomach twisted.

Instinctively, he reached for his lightsaber, his most precious possession, the symbol that made others cower before him. It gave him power, reminded him what he was capable of-

He was Kylo Ren, he was Snoke's murderer, he was a Sith, he could destroy the Resistance here and now if he wanted to, they were unarmed, unprepared, and if he stepped out of the ship ready to take them down he could-

His lightsaber-

-was-

-not-

-at-

-his-

-side-

Rey must have taken it when he tried to stop her-

The silence outside of the ship was unsettling; he could still feel her presence, feel a pull towards her, feel her trying to will him to come to her-

Another presence suddenly pushed against him-

He grabbed the back of one of the command chairs and steeled himself against his mother; of course she would know he was there, and he could feel her doubt, her concern.

 _Come home, Ben._

A makeshift red bag sat on the floor behind him. The contents could be his trophy or a peace offering.

He could be Kylo, or Ben.


End file.
